50:50 – In balance, seeking happiness

May be, I thought of the whole episodes on the Vishu day, the 15th of April this year, and that’s why I had a balance of mind while the flow of writing commenced. “Vishuvam” in Sanskrit means the day when the Day and Night are of the same duration, and in this month of Medam (in Malayalam) it happens to be today.
Life is a free way with lots of cross junctions and fly-over bridges, enroute. Our body is like a mini Cosmos, millions of dying cells being replaced by yet another million. We have been given the faculties and freedom to choose the way we want to live. Like on the roads, we too see signals. If we give meaningful interpretations as we drive, we enjoy happiness on the way, destinies re-shaped.
Almost everything we see around us are our own creativity, propelled by his/her thoughts. If we are able to generate a powerful thought and let it out, that will format itself in reality to be happy - happiness within and around us.
Story No: 1
Nambi is my close family friend and an active person while he was a professional textile designer. We have travelled life together on many occasions. Disciplined and focused to get results. He thinks to resolve rather than to precipitate, a rare breed of people who fought to make things happen. In that resolve he had personal tragedies to take care of, including a son who was nearly invalid and a daughter nearly the same, crippled to life. Choosing the right direction and finding grey paths was his forte. But then he too aged and contacted Parkinson’s disease. He hardly walks around the ground floor of his house. I met him recently and exchanged old and new thoughts and spoke about common friends. His memory still ripe, gave me new dimensions and channels of thoughts. I climbed the stairs to see his son. He was with his laptop and very active with his mind. With lots of energy he narrated the way he now leads his life on the free way with options still in his command. Two youngsters were waiting to be with him after I left his room. They were taught computer programming with his fingers moving on his laptop, he said. I walked down giving room for those to be taught. Back with Nambi, and about to leave, he said – “You know, in this house, me and my son live. I have not seen him and he has not seen me for many years. I sit here and he there. But we hear each other, speak on phone”. Spaces differ, but not far away from. They both operate on a single minded thought – to be happy with the God’s blessings. May be one day they merge and see each other at a destined place, unknown to us.
Happiness is what I have been in search of, the pure definition. To be happy we seek something. Our lives are spent preparing ourselves to be happy at the end. To LIVE, LIFE we need to find internal happiness. Happiness generates energy. The energy should flow in the right direction. For that you may not see what is ahead, and if one thinks about the way one want to be happy, he gets it. Commitment gives meaning to LIFE. Whether it is for a small or big issue is not the question. We need to think – what else, what more? If the body can move behind such thoughts, may be all the faculties God gifted us may not be needed. To think about and self pity is the last thing to do. Expanding consciousness to the wider canvas and sharing the joy as well sorrows of others we can leave the depressing thoughts. The river always flows to reach the destination, at times flaunting the destiny. That is probably we find that joy and sorrow is the same but two sides of LIFE.
Story No: 2
That was a wonderful re-union of the Alumni of my College that celebrated the 100 years of existence. Old, but nostalgia brought the oldest of the Alumni who was about 90 years old. We exchanged notes about the yesteryears of MCC. Amongst the attendees there were cine actors, ministers, judiciary, defense and other walks of life - successful, elite and speaking on traditions that melted over a period of time. Hearing my name being called out, one of my class mates spotted me. He asked whether I was the same person whom he knew. His wife was accompanying him, rather hand holding him. He was blind, but made his entry to be part and to share the joy of being with the past friends. He collected my cell number and insisted me to call him. Chandra Mohan spoke to me and came up to my residence assisted by his driver, later. Sat and enquired about many things and narrated his story how after being with the Bank job, he lost his sight due to nerves system failure. He knew he will never regain sight, but memories that are rich enough were fuelling his thoughts to make changes for the days he passed by. A while later he offered a signal to me - “Please say “YES” so that I know that you are listening, as I have a problem to recognize your body language”. And he moved to the next topic of how he spends time by selling an Insurance Product. He explained about the dual growth it gives an advantage to the policy holder, at the same time getting commission that otherwise goes to an agent. He projected the advantages he gets, by expanding his thoughts to reach beyond his capabilities and constraints. He did not show any lacuna of not being able to see me. He knew who I was from the recognized memory cells and celebrated happiness. He exuberated the charm and friendliness by not seeing, but with his feelings.
Life is about shifting from the comfort zones to un-comfortable zones. Yet another dimension of the nature provides us to appreciate this. Life flows at its own pace, holding on to pain and sufferings like in a pendulum. We refuse to let go with the flow. We tend to cling and hold on. Unable to change with the inevitable changes that embark on our freeway, we fear. We carry on with the work embedded on the karma path and fear to let go the results. We need to accept that as we play our part of realizing our dreams, He will do His – after all our dreams are His dreams. We tend to wait for the BIG events to shower happiness in us. Why? Why every day cannot be a sacred moment for being happy. I received a well meaning SMS – “Every sun-set gives us one day less to LIVE. But every sun rise gives one day more to HOPE!” Hope to be happy. I read somewhere a logical and mathematical analysis – H = R/N.
H, is for happiness; R, for resources in our command and N, for need. The more N, the less H. God blesses us with pleasure – satisfying physical senses, joy – from linkages and social need fulfillments and happiness. We sit back as we move on the freeways of LIFE only to receive and recognize signals that comes as soft whispers from above. Listen and proceed towards contentment.

Story No: 3

Rati runs her brush-works in Mumbai. She colors the whole ambience around her. She throws her paint all over the big canvas called her LIFE. She has so full of energy to be happy from the sun rise till she un-wind and go to sleep. As I saw her some years ago, I had felt that she be there in Mumbai film theatres as she grows up from the teens to an adult. Instead, being seen on the huge hoardings with her cinematic appearances, she now paints on canvas herself, teach youngsters to paint their lives. I learnt a lot from her, to choose the right color as I embark road blocks on my LIFE. I get my GREEN color signal when the RED color stops and confronts me at those cross roads and flyover diversions as I pass by on my freeway of LIFE. Rati is crippled for life at the age of 19, with a disease – But never failed to move ahead and forward and kept her balance in LIFE. Smiling always, painting the whole surroundings with all that she only can throw to make it beautiful. She is like a rainbow, on the dark clouds, finds opportunities where others fail to regain and recover. I remember an article that came in FAMINA, detailing about how she manages herself and others who attend her classes to learn painting on paper, canvas and on their lives. I being a beneficiary is aware of her un-dying attitude to enjoy on her highway of life, spread with thorns and blockades. When I give a chocolate, her eyes light up and provide me with a sense of satisfaction for having made her happier. I do not believe any moment is lost in her, though she needs to be fed, bathed and taken care of in all aspects of her physical needs. But for her, her own N (need) is limited because she knows her R has a limitation. She stretches her hands, holds on to a long brush at her brush-works and others follow her instincts. I follow her pattern of driving her dreams that she believe are His dreams as well.
On the VISHU day, we see KANI, meaning everything that brings in prosperity for the whole year. There is a symbolic representation in the KANI – with a mirror. As the sparklers cracked around, and lit the sky with colors bring in happiness to those who celebrated the festivities. I looked at the mirror and saw my image. I did a self analysis and found the real meaning of BALANCE, the balance between the day and night. The balance between sorrow and joy, LIFE and DEATH, ups and downs, pains and pleasures. It’s the way we think and respond, getting signals from nature around us as we move ahead on the freeways. The real you need to be identified.
I thought 50:50 is a concept to be in balance – 51 being excitement and 49 being depression - a mathematical expression of being aware to let go and witness LIFE and to enjoy His blessings that are much above the three stories that un-folded above for most of us.

Sitting sweet on the banks of the river . .

River flows calm at times and ruthless some other times,
Right - an Aries nature of not wanting to be in control.

Human nature prompts us to set new challenging goals for ourselves
Hey, you know, at times it is the thrill of pursuit and conquest

Turbulence is not a measure of the depth of the river, like
Truth at times is disguised and masked

Understanding the depth and width is an art
Un-known to many an individual, who does not care, and empathize

When I was finding ways to spark a connection and
When I am crazy about you

It came from the banks of the river, sitting pretty around there
It still is an interest in mystery that have over flown boundaries

As the anticipation built the chemistry that glued with mutual interest
Alas, the one sitting pretty on the banks of river motivated & attracted

I know, a little flirtatious chase is fairly harmless, when
It comes to people whom you care and both do not loose

As what happens with love and tender care from those river banks
Add beauty and charm in the simple relationships that mature

Time will tell - high and low tides will disappear
That the river will flow for ever

In order to give support to the banks that guided the flow and
In a way to lend the little finger that promise ways to come out of turmoil

Life is like a river, dry and full at times - sad and rejoicing
Like one sees while rowing life’s boat on the river, watching across the banks

These are times, when the banks of the river pacify, regulate and support,
Tempt, tease, teach and act tough, so that the river still flows in calm

Indebted for life, indebted for ever, indebted to be between the banks
I, stay around, to receive rich nourishments, that flows from you, from the banks.