Guzarish, the request

GUZARISH, the Request

The scenic beauty depicted is from God’s Own Country. Goa is not far from Kerala in terms of nature where the story of Ethan Mascaranez commenced.

I had read the narration of Guzarish and when Usha wanted to watch this movie, I agreed, though in terms of experimentation, I had felt “no more movies”. There was intent.

Depicted well, edited to perfection and sensibility and sensitivity captured to near perfection, I watched and felt that a good theme for a story teller and a good movie for the audiences - Sentiments of love grew as hidden narrations on almost all frames. Sanjay Leela once again has shown his genius in the film making.

More than Guzarsh theme or the film, I enjoyed the scene when the Lawyer was asked to get into the wooden box at the Court room when a magic show was to be conducted – the lawyer was asked to be within the box for 60 seconds and he knocked out of it by punches from within – suffocating in a state of mind of isolation and solitude. If that be the case, Ethan was trying to convince the judge at the court room, this time at his house, that being alone, in isolation even without much pain but in anticipation of the ultimate is very testing and extremely difficult.

Ethan’s story is where he has been on a bed unable to move his legs and hands and almost immobile for more than 12 years, after he met with an accident. His nurse looks after him, and his assistant comes to learn the tricks of the MAGIC, that was Ethan’s profession.

The MAGIC of LIFE is that LIFE itself is a MAGIC.

One needs to understand and appreciate the stories that tell LIFE in various forms.

By learning the MAGIC of life, you tend to soften your approaches and choose paths that are neither pure white of perfection nor black that is filled with thorns and hatred.

Feel the MAGIC of life and that helps you move through the uncertainties that lie ahead in future.

I am reminded of those 100 minutes that preceded with a diagnosis that I had contacted “Transverse Mylettis” – by being within the MRI scanning machine at the Hinduja Hospital. The 60 seconds allotted to the lawyer reminded me of those 100 minutes.

Instead of the 12 odd years that Ethan suffered in the time machine of life, I had passed through more than a month - Un-knowing what was in store for me, hearing from the Neuro physician that I may become a vegetable like Ethan.

Watching Guzarish with Usha was like swimming in the MAGIC pond of my own life – recollecting how and what goes through the mind of Ethan.

Hope comes in various forms and for me on the thirteenth floor at the hospital, it was a dove that sat on the overhanging window pane of my closed room of MAGIC, that I renewed with prayers that life seems to be ahead.

Transformation is part of learning.

I learnt then, that one need not worry much, with prayers that can create MAGIC in life.

I remembered then, what I saw last week at the Karthika Deepam festival at the Thali temple --- when I was handling an earthen lamp, trying to light and fire on the wick using the near by lamp on the boarders of the water pond where reflections were making a MAGIC in the surroundings. The four of the panchaboothas were together that time, but the invisible breeze (air) the fifth of the panchboothas turned my wish down. Determined and praying, I lit more lamps.

Living life with contentment and hope will help engulf love in to the relationships.

Love is the MAGIC that lights the days that challenges with uncertainties.

Guzarish, the request is that we tend to appreciate the natures’ bounties around us, gifted by God, and thank Him and pray for the ultimate to happen, so that we become part of nature, all over, once again.

YATRA (-Travel)

I thought for a second time, about what should be the caption for the contents of this essay and thought of a Sanskrit word meaning “travel” is probably apt. The thoughts that were provocation behind the attempt to write on my journey to work is just that. “YANTRA” the machines with which I am associated at work and in synonym with “YATRA”.

It’s about the road less traveled. The clogged roads that were affected due to rains were being blocked to erect huge drain pipes. The mess created in traffic jams is in the city of BARODA known as Vadodara. The meaning comes from VAD, the banyan trees. The detour made us deviate the way we traveled to work. Changes have always given challenges and that makes good reasons to think different.

The new path passes through the villages and I spotted indicating boards of Karali and Chansad villages. Karali village reminded me of Kairali and Kerala where I grew up. As the road winds up from my house at “Aiswarya” in the town to nearly 27 km away to Por village where I work.. I switched off my urban thoughts by clicking the mouse of my mind to “sleep” and used the rest of faculties and cajole with the childhood times as we deviated the path.

Sounds that reach my drums recall the old memoirs of Bharata Puzha, the river that has a bridge at Kuttipuram, a village those days on way to the Guruvayoor temple. Here on the way to Por, I heard parrots and some other birds singing, some even flew close to the windshield of the car. I thought of the meditation practices when you calm your mind and observe your thoughts & you listen to many sounds. Bids flew out from where they hang around in the bushes and sat close to the trishul on the temples. As I crossed the temple, I observed the bells ring at the temple, no bird flew out. They probably knew it was serene.
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It was interesting to watch groups of girls and boys not in uniform running around and falling in line for the morning prayers during school assemble. In one school, I watched them play in comparison to carrying heavy loads of books by urban children. The bullock carts that roll out on the one line road carried some of them. I was reminded of the times when I used to ride a cycle to the college of engineering that was close to Malampuzha dam. Seeing a wheeled shop that sold sweets brought in the memories of the ½ “a’na” (those days, 16 a’nas made up for one rupee) priced ice candies and ground nut toffees that we bought during school intervals from a close by shop in Calicut, near Malabar Christian College School. Passing on the road were squirrels and mongoose, in a hurry to meet their needs! Once I saw an elephant unable to give way for the car, we moved and parked aside. Seeing monkeys (?) in their natural habitat was another dot that made my day from the animal kingdom. That day I remembered the grand building that is called HABITAT, on the Al-Khobar road in Saudi Arabia. Within HABITAT, humans were aping and here on the road less traveled monkeys were in their own field, displaying probably contempt for the passers by. I was thinking of the HSBC, advertisement “Culture or fashion?” when I noticed one youth riding a cycle, with a stud on his ear lobe. Did I see goats around the KARALI village? I went back years behind in thoughts when my mother took out leaves from the jackfruit tree’s branch and followed to beat me for a fault that I did that day. In our house hold, much before the sachets of milk came in home, we had goats to milk. Thereafter we had a herd of cows. Here on the way, it was more of bullocks than cows. Bullocks, I believe takes about seven years before they are used to work. Some of the bullocks plough fields; carry loads of materials in carts. They walked in elegance with their huge horns matching those of tuskers. It was needed once to protect the bulls, but now within the surroundings they work, these horns appear as un-used ammunition, resembling a sign of peace. I wonder how by listening to the car, bullocks moved away to the sides of the thin road, accepting natural ways of giving ways! A deer with its head up was on the side lanes, out of the woods and close to us, one morning.

My mind signaled, yet another forgotten story of plucking flowers for the Onam festivities during child hood. Fiery red and yellows are most of the wild flowers seen on the way. The green arch that formed on the thin stretches of the road made a contrast to the blooming flowers of the spring season. I was thinking then of the pure white thin small “thumba” flowers that once upon a time decorated Onam flower decks. Those little ones had no fragrance to throw out. It represents the moon light soothing the nerves and creating an atmosphere for love to flow freely. The indigos that lined some where close to the railway tracks was yet another variation identified with my keen eyes, that wandered to find newer and different flowers species on the way. Curious is what I have become all of a sudden. I even compared the sand dunes that change colors as I used traveled through deserts on my way to work in the Gulf. Up in the sky here the blue is bluer. And as I return home, I watch with gratitude the amber streams that comes out through the dawning skies. Between the sun and me were green bushes that prevented me to have a full sight of the setting sun. Alas I thought, I could see the sun sets on my way from work and enjoy the gifts of the day. As the window panes were open the wind whispered in tandem with my breath. As I listened to these sounds and colors, I was reminded of His unity in nature.

Thank God, that the Municipal corporation at last decided to cut the roads and burry the pipelines to carry the rainy water. Thanks are for those who drive madly on the roads to make sure that each one of them in that process made the rest to get stuck between those many and reach destinations late. Thanks to Sanjay my driver who opted to deviate and suggest a new Yatra to the Yantras.

The whole episode helped me to reinvent the child in me to become enthused about looking beyond to witness some of those unique frequencies in sound, variations in color, un-masked human beings that represented nature, animals in their habitat, purer air to breath and scenic sequences without the hassle and bustle of routines that have embedded in work life for such a long time. I even felt that a stream that now flows under a bridge that spans huge may once get enough water for me to I step out and watch the river that would have some of the species of fish. Did I become a child for a while? Are we in a hurry to grow up and then we long for our lost child hood? Do we ever step out and look at nature and life as we focus on the work front?

My car, thus celebrated the drive in an unknown path and I appreciated God sent beauty of nature. All because, we deviated from the urban path until then, I had felt was within the comfort zone of travel to work. We just deviated and made a change and then had loads of surprises that were in offer and to our heart’s content. At times we must be prepared to get rid of the lives we plan, so as to have the life that is waiting for us on the side lanes.

IMAGINARY Boundaries

A wanderer was jumping out on the leaves of a coconut tree to the other and was nearly one month old. The mother squirrel was only watching the sibling perform that jump. From the terrace of my flat the coconut tree that had flowered a thousand odd bunches of flowers was being watched by me all the mornings that I went out and stretched out before we embarked on a walk on the streets on the Balaji hills at Seethammadhara, a foothill in Vizag. I had always a liking to these wonderful and picturesque surroundings that lay stretched just close to the Bay of Bengal on the East and mountainous terrains on the other side. Vizag was a fishing village now embracing high tech and priceless possession of agri-lands giving way to multiplexes and prestigious corporate. This land that I came across to be with, after initial encounters of a stay during early seventy’s provides me with a load of nostalgia and memoirs.

Sooner or later, the little squirrel will jump more obstacles and the mother squirrel will forget the first few strides of the child. The flowers of coconuts will fade away and fall leaving a few to become tender coconuts and become seeds for yet another coconut tree to grow up to repeat natural habitats function on a time scale.

I looked around and probed what to write? Instantaneously an idea was generated and here I go.

The thoughts went through transformative years that passed by, and memoirs flooded in the process and my mood froze to pen down the thoughts.

I was not destined and born with a mission, neither I was a “No body’s Child” as the good old song that Usha, used to sing in solitude. I discovered a mission on the way, early in life. I still find time to look back and enjoy the tracks that were probably littered with thorns and flowers and recollect with gratitude the heavens showered upon me as on today. Some one put it well, when he said –“Dreams are not that you see when you are asleep, but they are what makes you not to sleep”. For, those born before the Independence, and those who still are able to recollect the rationing times, can well afford to visualize limitations of even imagining and dreaming. For me, the inner self compensated for the lack of everything else including the financial needs. I dared to look at a future not with the glare and glitterati but a quiet search to find “happiness”, a mission that I am still holding.

Distance wise, the barrier for me at those times was the 5th railway gate close to my house, but many times I used to walk or cycle across the imaginary boundary that lay in front the 5th railway gate and went about to see the limitless frontiers as I visualized beyond the Arabian Seas. I vividly remember narrating a short story in Malayalam that I had written for the school magazine, attempting to count the number of stars commencing with the first one that rose up high on the sky on the sea shore. It was magical to visualize and look beyond and enjoy without a “paisa” in the pocket.

The wealth within reach was limited to thoughts that catapulted me to horizons to reach above. Unknown were the issues and problems as these are two sides of the same coin. Winning was a need and loosing was not a problem, as there were hardly anything to loose. As the Malayalam proverbial statement –“Poyal poyi, kittiyal Ana” – meaning – If you loose you loose, but if you win, you win and elephant” was the drive behind all action. The wisdom within the shadows catapulted the thoughts to reach destinations crossing the imaginary 5th Gate.

First it was to get admission to the professional college, then to find a job and at those times it was a Herculean task for me. And when I got a job, I had to work for sixteen hours a day where the Western Ghats ends at a place called Mavoor. River “Chaliar” was around with contaminants from the industry I worked. The river still flows . . . . still and I take stock of my roots back to that river from where I started looking beyond about life, in late sixties.

Those were the days when we just had five engineering colleges in Kerala and only about a two hundreds became engineers to the nation. There were no jobs for those who passed out, and India was well within the number of 50 crores of people. Pizza and Chinese noodles were unheard of and forget -“sari” and “mundu” were the basic dress for people. I used to buy one dozen of Mysore Bananas for less than 50 paisa, in school days. The radio transmitted news from AIR. Some of us went about thinking, sereing the exhibition of photos displayed at the Christian College where Yuri Gagarin was shown on the Moon. We felt – it was possible, if our minds lead us to for-see and the body accompanied.

“Nadakkav”- where we congregated in the evenings with friends bear the brunt of the history that passed by. Though new mindscapes and ideologies have emerged, the term “I” can be seen as finding links with the past and look around to future for progress. On the side lines and margins one can find “scripts” that may develop into actions as one goes through the pages of past times. The river, “Chaliar” still flows……

As on date, with the technology that is leading most of us to live the way we live, we still need to buy candles from the shopping malls to light when the power cut is imposed. We look for the matches that I once used to light the lamps at the “SANDHYA” time in prayer. Technology alone cannot lead us; they may provide some solutions to some issues and problems that we encounter every day. But most of the solutions have to come about from the human spirit. We need to open up the “BLACK BOX” of our mind and use the left brain that stimulates feelings. We need to sympathize with the not-so-wealthy and interpret the speed at which we want to progress. We need to STOP, divert thoughts and take a diversion from the cultural high way that is impeding the righteousness of the purpose of our very lives. We need to probe when the candle burns on our table tops. We need to reach out, we need to think beyond, need to plan and see what makes us “happy” and what “not” and generate action that will please us, so that we please many more like us. Inspection may throw light on what happened, but introspection may give insight to what should happen.

We need to introspect and find answers like some of those, quoted as below and locate our position as of now so that we traverse and set our course and chart our own destinies. See some of the points as expressed below:

In a comparative note I quote the interviews with three eminent personalities. Vijay Mallaya was asked “what will be your rating on a scale of 1-10 on your evaluation of your persona?” and he said – “I do not rate me; I leave it to people.” A similar question posed to Simi Grewal and she replied “10, because I am doing what I do to the best I can do”. Nandita Bose replied – “I do not follow any image, image follows me.”

It is time that we pay attention to the things that are critical to our happiness. Spend time with children and with parents. Visit with grandparents. Take your spouse out to enjoy an evening. Play another game of cards. There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal. Take care of the golf balls first --- the things that really matter. The rest is just sand.

Some one in a Call Center asked – “Can I have a few minutes with you, please? We are glad this happened. It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of minutes to be with a friend." Do look up your old friends, associates and family members.

It’s just because, the river “Chaliar” still flows….. and it will …

Floating on the flow needs hardly any effort, but swimming across need talents. So let us not take the easy route the way life takes us, but pave the way you like to live.

It was on 10th of August, 1945, when an atom bomb exploded in Japan, killing thousands of innocent people. The cycle of violence repeat itself even today. The cycles of revenge destroy the fabric of the society where we are part of. The mechanism of revenge works on the principle of treating a wrong with a bigger wrong. We need to look at what is meant by forgiving. We have to identify the trauma that inflicts the children who undergo the vagaries of revenge. It is better to prepare than to repair. River “Chaliar” still flows ….

Heraclites, the Greek philosopher said – “Everything flows”. He stated that “you cannot step into the same river twice” as it keeps flowing, changing the courses and contents. With the constant changes, continuous shift of qualities also takes place. In everything there is a play of opposites, he says, “without which the world will collapse”. Sea water is a must for fish and for us fresh water. It’s like the beginning and end of a circle - can be, at any point of the circle.

“Naranathu Brandhan” took up huge stones up-hill on a mountain and left it free to fall off – just to show that “the road uphill and down is one and the same”. It’s about accepting the midway path that is gray and not pure white or pure black. That’s the way many have traveled. The invisible harmony that exists between relationships is better than the visible”. We should dismiss using masks to feel good to ourselves.

In his book “The last lecture” Randy Pausch gives some inner meanings of desire. We need to have the desire to live the full life and at the same time loving each other. This is the recipe for making our dreams come true. As we embark upon our tasks we come across brick walls some times. Brick walls are not there to keep us out. They are there to provide us a chance to show how badly we want something. Destiny cannot be changed, it is our choice either to moan or accept things with an attitude that will scale us further. As we pray and move ahead let us understand that prayers are not for God to change His mind but is to let God change ours. Every day we look at things with a new look, lest past be there to teach us not to deter.

As we pass through the nodes in our lives, let us thank God for His blessings and thank Him for the mercies He has given us.

As the river “Chaliar” moves ahead with time, let us look at the Borrah Caves that was developed by the Gosthani River by testing the slow path of the more simple watery form that penetrated and created caves of such a large dimension over a million years. Patience and focus makes things happen and we remember these as we encounter smaller block walls as we move ahead in the path of time. It is the belief that we can do that primarily makes things happen.

Incidentally the 5th railway gate does not exist these days and as the road over-bridge has substituted the small imaginary block wall.

The 5th Gate like that of the PANCHBOOTHAS is a reminder to us that the ATMAN will provide us with energy and stamina that will help soothe the strains and stresses that we may come across. Things change, the river “Chaliar” will continue to flow….. watch out and be a witness to events.

Yume no chikara

In January every year the earth shifts it’s rotation from South towards North in its usual course. “Makar Shankranthi” coincides with this. To be in Gujarat and here in Vadodara, is yet another connotation with that day. I have been seeing shops coming up on the road side selling kites of all kinds. Informed of this earlier by my cousin here, I was looking forward to see the skies with kites during day and some one else said that even at night, candle lit kites fly the horizon. Along with that is a business that runs in to crores selling dreams of flights driven by the passionate with kites in to the skies. There are kites that have pictures of celebrities like Amitabh and Aiswarya right back on some kites. I started fantasizing about the “UTTARAYAN” festival that lit hope for many including elderly to have the kites fly with their anchored eyes behind each of them. Dreams are all about that. To have the thread in one hand and the flight stimulating paper kite that is driven by winds up in to the skies!

“Yume no chikara”; sounds weird? Must be – it is Japanese. But if you understand the meaning of this, it’s simple. That’s what adds passion to our lives! The meaning is - “ability to make our dreams come true”.

When we read about any achiever’s biography or their interviews on TV, we get one feeling – they all pursued their own dreams! The paths may differ, but focused were them in order to realize their dreams.

How do one dream? “Dare to dream” has been an axiom for the marketing slogan of one brand, and it is true. To dream is to have a passion for life! Whether it is President Abdul Kalam, M S Dhoni - people from various fields or for that matter Mother Teresa whose idea of life was devoted to the downtrodden, they all had dreamt of their paths.

As the kite fly, the hand behind is the driver. But kite is not focused with a destination.
Apply the same thread that dips down water, the driver is focused to get his find in the fish. When it comes to an aero plane flight the pilot knows the destination, time target to reach his destination. Whereas in a flight of dream sequence related to life – it’s a long term wish, a desire to make things happen and an action plan that follows.

Like in any journey, there are road blocks to reduce speed, take alternative routes and OR stop and wait enjoying the nature on the way! For a dreamer, though focus does not get shifted; direction is changed but put on course again, and speed is in the hands of the dreamer. Road blocks should not deter focus and direction. You’re also aware of the fool’s paradise, where dreamers have decided no flight paths! Of-course no plan of action too to be followed with fools dreams! Result - like the kite stuck on the TV cable extending from the 10th floor of Ellora Park building downwards to some other roof – unable to fly anymore.
Change is part of growth and achievement. Winning and loosing are part of the same proposition. But what remains at length is the journey to reach the goals, un-deterred.
There are combinations that get across as you traverse to making a dream come true. It’s the health, a sharp and clear mind, composure and calm, willingness to laugh on the way, to be playful and serious enough to come back after you drop down and fail at times, drive & passion, strength of conviction and enthusiasm till you finally reach your goal.
My solo dream was to be happy! This is where the body – mind combination works together. Rest of the activities and goals are meager merged acquisitions of the solo target. That meant that on a day to day basis, I strived and worked to be happy. If I lost and failed, these were taken as a teachers black board from where I could learn lessons! While on this pursuit to find happiness, the very meaning of happiness took turns as I moved on the scale of time. What I used to be happy with once is not what makes me happy now!

Coining the meaning of happiness is what I have spent my life on! Consequences of this venture that I took underwent some adventures in life – paining at times, retarding at some other. Turning points are when you see something, read a book, witness something else or experience life’s turbulences. Few years back, driven to the back yard of life under the hospital roof in Mumbai, stuck with the disease called Transverse Mylettis, I was re-creating dreams against odds to survive the onslaught of the severity of the health problem that nearly crippled me. That was when I introspected to understand and appreciate that while one is on forward gear, the use of rear gear should be as fluent as that when you drive a car. With a crippled body and crippled hopes, I woke up and started lifting the leg from the bed and later walked only forward (not backward and side ways, initially) inch by inch after nearly 25 days in the bed at Hinduja hospital.

As I read the book – “A history of time” written by Stephen Hawkins, I was fascinated with the dimension of time. More than that, it was the author, who had caught my whole attention. Crippled at the age of 22 with a deadly disease called motor-neuro deficiency and stuck to a wheel chair from then, is still unable to talk and uses a computer and voice modulation to communicate. He on his 65th birth day was planning along with Sir Richardson of Virgin Airlines to make a flight in to skies where the weightlessness as in the outer space could be felt. That’s about life driven with a passion to achieve own dreams.

To be happy is what it means when you are able to make your dreams come true. “It’s good to be just happy. It’s a little better to know that you are happy, but to understand that you are happy and to know why and how and still be happy and be happy in the being and knowing well that, is beyond happiness - is bliss”.

While we dare to dream, preferences come in the way. Likes and dislikes are mental orientations and influences thinking and behavior. Value based thinking help ethical goals in life. Life with the ingredient “dharma” attains a mind poised in balance. Love is the outcome. To free from obstacles of life, we stand committed to righteousness with backing of the mind and intellect to rise above likes and dislikes. Internal resistances to fly with dreams of your choice tend to flow joyously to the ocean of divinity. We then accept people as they are as nature accepts everything. “Each of us has our own unique flaws. We're all cracked pots. But it's the cracks and flaws we each have that make our lives together so very interesting and rewarding”.
Looking at the kites that fly in the skies above on “UTTARAYAN”, I am thrilled to foresee the strength of the threads that hold the kites of various shapes, colors and styles. We also see those futile attempts to take on to skies and let go down the roofs and the backyards of our compounds. It’s the never-say-die attitude that still linger in many of us, that sell the kites, buy kites and fly kites in spite of the fact that the festival bring in an opportunity to learn the handling of making a dream come true! And it’s the child in us that make us feel good to fly our dream paths. It’s also when we are children that we form our attitudes and start pecking on our own dreams! “We do not stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing. Let us dare to dream”!

Birthday wish ..

Wishes have wings like butterflies, they are so light,
Butterflies are so beautiful, they keep you watch them,
Watching times we spent together are joyful,
Joy is what’s around whenever I, think of you,
Thinking about you from afar, is a sweet time pass,
You are very SwEEt, as always, and smiling,
It was that smile of yours, that brought us together till today,
And TODAY, 11th June, is your birthday,
Here is my birthday, wish, for you,
The one and ONLY one like YOU.

Usha’s – sothu
(11th June 2010)

The Earth

(We do not inherit earth from our parents; we borrow it from our children)
Most of you might have read this; any way for the sake of repetition I enclose the story as told to me.
“A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, he picked up a very large and empty jar and proceeded to fill it with some stones. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was. The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the larger stones. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was. The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded unanimous and said "yes." The professor then took out water from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students sighed. "Now," said the professor a while later - "I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The bigger stones are the important things, God, your family, your children, your health, your friends and your favorite passions, and if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full. The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house and your car. The sand is everything else, the small stuff. "If you put the sand into the jar first" he continued, "there is no room for the large stones or the pebbles. The same goes for life”.
If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff you will never have room for the things that are important to you. Set your priorities. “Don’t sweat the small stuff” – that’s a great book to read. When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember the jar and the stones.
This story brought me to the stones that Divya was interested. She was a young kid then and was keen to know about the places. Having seen many places she is used to keeping mementoes like her mom. Divya loves stones and her mom loves semi precious stones and diamonds. Divya’s love for stones is easy to remember and her mom’s not so easy to forget. Her mom first buys semi-precious stones, waits for the time to arrive and then set those stones and make ornaments that match the rest. I wondered how these sequences follow and reconciled remembering –
“Some people see things and ask why?” I probably fall in this category.
“Some people dream things and ask why not?” A few are in this category.
It was why when her mom and I were in Egypt and close to the pyramids, we picked stones from there. We wondered seeing pyramids and did not wonder seeing stones. To collect small stones from a place where pyramids are made with huge stones was a matter of significance. It was not a matter of “after all stones.” The mammoth sized pyramids that we saw towered in our eyes and caught imaginations that will never be forgotten. It was nearly a miss when I was on my last stretch of journey in Karachi, when I remembered her request, stopped the car on a bye–lane to collect a stone. This trip was much before Prime Minister Vajpayee propagated the new era of friendship between the two countries. I cherished that piece of stone, nearly like a marble piece picked on my way to airport. Nepal’s stones are different and those near the old temples are of significant and could even go for a research. Samir and Rami my friends from Arab world used to travel to many destinations and I had it at times with them. Germany was one place like that and I picked one stone close to Solvay Company where we had business. On the green lawns was that precious stone that I carried. Samir picked up small stones for me (for Divya) close from the Great Wall of China. Rami brought in a few from Jordan and Kailash brought a few from Turkey and Damascus. Colors of all these as well texture differ. While in Dubai and Muscat I picked a few to add on to the kitty. I remember doing the same from London and France too; Recently Shailesh brought me stones from Lagos, Nigeria. Divya and her sister Megna together had picked stones of their choice from Srilanka, Bali, Singapore, Kualalampur and Bangkok. When they went to Maldives both picked up stones. Mario, my Philippi no machine operator had brought many pieces from those many islands of Philippine. The story of stone picking is incomplete as one of us will continue to add to the collection. These are the smallest deeds that are probably bigger than greatest intentions without action.
Some one appeared to have said: Pick up all those stones that people throw at you and you build a castle out of it. This is the way to deal with criticism. Retorting and responding are the difference. Divya keeps these stones not thrown at her, but through a rare collection.
The earth’s evolution is very interesting to read. You realize how small each one of us is. One of the five elements called “panchabootha” is earth comprising stones, rocks, elements and chemicals. Stones like marble have been used as an expression of love – Taj Mahal. The most solid stone in the structure is the one in the foundation. Human value systems are based right from the foundations. My grand mother had told me a story of “Naranath Brandhan” who is called a mad man. Naranath used to roll up a huge stone close to where he used to stay near Lakkidi-Palappuram, with the whole might put in the process. He then leaves the stone to fall and roll down the crevices and used to laugh it off. He only meant, like many other perceptions - “find the purpose, means will follow” that Mahatma Gandhi said. Have you found how the tears of a child or woman melt the heart of a man who may even have a heart that is made of STONE? Isn’t it like the river Ganges that flows from the Himalayas and in the process works through the stones and make it dust?
These stones including the SHIV LINGAM are our deities. It is the replica of such stones that are in most of the religions that we follow. It represents faith. It represents trust. The creator is seen in the form of a stone. Some one appear to have said – “Creation is a stone thrown uphill against the downward rush of habits.” As earth was in evolution rocks and stones stood still at some places. On the way to Mount Abu crossing Gujarat to Rajasthan one cross a place named Eider and there you see a symphony of music created by the formation of rocks in various forms and shapes. Some of them appear just about to fall. I stopped for a while to enquire and was told that their great grand fathers saw those tilting ones on the tips of some others in a grandeur form. Nature predicts but humans are not! As Salma and Suresh took us once to the caves close to Dammam, in Saudi Arabia, we were not sure weather we were to see caves or mountains till we were there. Huge vertical split forms of the rocks in an amazing number of shapes and sizes as if they were carved out from a huge mountain as part of the evolution millions and billions of years before. It’s cool breeze that followed us through those intestine like threads of the huge rocky stones that rose to sky from the ground where we walked around. The beauty of stones in its natural forms, much beyond the ones we saw at Kanjanjanga or Mount Everest from Nepal.
Life endures. Rocks and stones form sand on the sea shores; rivers make that happen. One should begin always with the end in mind.
The stones picked for and by Divya and Megna will adorn in her drawing room. She intends to pile it up in a glass vase filled with water. On top will have a variety of species of fish in different colors to match with those varying colors of those many tones and textures? The fish will never understand the intent, for them it is their own environment. For us we tend to differentiate people belonging to those many countries in the world. We look at the color of the people and their cultures. But just look at the stones from so many places from earth that ensemble in a glass vessel. Who can differentiate them – that’s our earth. No wonder Divya’s theme is “DHARTI EK HAI” – The earth is one!

50:50 – In balance, seeking happiness

May be, I thought of the whole episodes on the Vishu day, the 15th of April this year, and that’s why I had a balance of mind while the flow of writing commenced. “Vishuvam” in Sanskrit means the day when the Day and Night are of the same duration, and in this month of Medam (in Malayalam) it happens to be today.
Life is a free way with lots of cross junctions and fly-over bridges, enroute. Our body is like a mini Cosmos, millions of dying cells being replaced by yet another million. We have been given the faculties and freedom to choose the way we want to live. Like on the roads, we too see signals. If we give meaningful interpretations as we drive, we enjoy happiness on the way, destinies re-shaped.
Almost everything we see around us are our own creativity, propelled by his/her thoughts. If we are able to generate a powerful thought and let it out, that will format itself in reality to be happy - happiness within and around us.
Story No: 1
Nambi is my close family friend and an active person while he was a professional textile designer. We have travelled life together on many occasions. Disciplined and focused to get results. He thinks to resolve rather than to precipitate, a rare breed of people who fought to make things happen. In that resolve he had personal tragedies to take care of, including a son who was nearly invalid and a daughter nearly the same, crippled to life. Choosing the right direction and finding grey paths was his forte. But then he too aged and contacted Parkinson’s disease. He hardly walks around the ground floor of his house. I met him recently and exchanged old and new thoughts and spoke about common friends. His memory still ripe, gave me new dimensions and channels of thoughts. I climbed the stairs to see his son. He was with his laptop and very active with his mind. With lots of energy he narrated the way he now leads his life on the free way with options still in his command. Two youngsters were waiting to be with him after I left his room. They were taught computer programming with his fingers moving on his laptop, he said. I walked down giving room for those to be taught. Back with Nambi, and about to leave, he said – “You know, in this house, me and my son live. I have not seen him and he has not seen me for many years. I sit here and he there. But we hear each other, speak on phone”. Spaces differ, but not far away from. They both operate on a single minded thought – to be happy with the God’s blessings. May be one day they merge and see each other at a destined place, unknown to us.
Happiness is what I have been in search of, the pure definition. To be happy we seek something. Our lives are spent preparing ourselves to be happy at the end. To LIVE, LIFE we need to find internal happiness. Happiness generates energy. The energy should flow in the right direction. For that you may not see what is ahead, and if one thinks about the way one want to be happy, he gets it. Commitment gives meaning to LIFE. Whether it is for a small or big issue is not the question. We need to think – what else, what more? If the body can move behind such thoughts, may be all the faculties God gifted us may not be needed. To think about and self pity is the last thing to do. Expanding consciousness to the wider canvas and sharing the joy as well sorrows of others we can leave the depressing thoughts. The river always flows to reach the destination, at times flaunting the destiny. That is probably we find that joy and sorrow is the same but two sides of LIFE.
Story No: 2
That was a wonderful re-union of the Alumni of my College that celebrated the 100 years of existence. Old, but nostalgia brought the oldest of the Alumni who was about 90 years old. We exchanged notes about the yesteryears of MCC. Amongst the attendees there were cine actors, ministers, judiciary, defense and other walks of life - successful, elite and speaking on traditions that melted over a period of time. Hearing my name being called out, one of my class mates spotted me. He asked whether I was the same person whom he knew. His wife was accompanying him, rather hand holding him. He was blind, but made his entry to be part and to share the joy of being with the past friends. He collected my cell number and insisted me to call him. Chandra Mohan spoke to me and came up to my residence assisted by his driver, later. Sat and enquired about many things and narrated his story how after being with the Bank job, he lost his sight due to nerves system failure. He knew he will never regain sight, but memories that are rich enough were fuelling his thoughts to make changes for the days he passed by. A while later he offered a signal to me - “Please say “YES” so that I know that you are listening, as I have a problem to recognize your body language”. And he moved to the next topic of how he spends time by selling an Insurance Product. He explained about the dual growth it gives an advantage to the policy holder, at the same time getting commission that otherwise goes to an agent. He projected the advantages he gets, by expanding his thoughts to reach beyond his capabilities and constraints. He did not show any lacuna of not being able to see me. He knew who I was from the recognized memory cells and celebrated happiness. He exuberated the charm and friendliness by not seeing, but with his feelings.
Life is about shifting from the comfort zones to un-comfortable zones. Yet another dimension of the nature provides us to appreciate this. Life flows at its own pace, holding on to pain and sufferings like in a pendulum. We refuse to let go with the flow. We tend to cling and hold on. Unable to change with the inevitable changes that embark on our freeway, we fear. We carry on with the work embedded on the karma path and fear to let go the results. We need to accept that as we play our part of realizing our dreams, He will do His – after all our dreams are His dreams. We tend to wait for the BIG events to shower happiness in us. Why? Why every day cannot be a sacred moment for being happy. I received a well meaning SMS – “Every sun-set gives us one day less to LIVE. But every sun rise gives one day more to HOPE!” Hope to be happy. I read somewhere a logical and mathematical analysis – H = R/N.
H, is for happiness; R, for resources in our command and N, for need. The more N, the less H. God blesses us with pleasure – satisfying physical senses, joy – from linkages and social need fulfillments and happiness. We sit back as we move on the freeways of LIFE only to receive and recognize signals that comes as soft whispers from above. Listen and proceed towards contentment.

Story No: 3

Rati runs her brush-works in Mumbai. She colors the whole ambience around her. She throws her paint all over the big canvas called her LIFE. She has so full of energy to be happy from the sun rise till she un-wind and go to sleep. As I saw her some years ago, I had felt that she be there in Mumbai film theatres as she grows up from the teens to an adult. Instead, being seen on the huge hoardings with her cinematic appearances, she now paints on canvas herself, teach youngsters to paint their lives. I learnt a lot from her, to choose the right color as I embark road blocks on my LIFE. I get my GREEN color signal when the RED color stops and confronts me at those cross roads and flyover diversions as I pass by on my freeway of LIFE. Rati is crippled for life at the age of 19, with a disease – But never failed to move ahead and forward and kept her balance in LIFE. Smiling always, painting the whole surroundings with all that she only can throw to make it beautiful. She is like a rainbow, on the dark clouds, finds opportunities where others fail to regain and recover. I remember an article that came in FAMINA, detailing about how she manages herself and others who attend her classes to learn painting on paper, canvas and on their lives. I being a beneficiary is aware of her un-dying attitude to enjoy on her highway of life, spread with thorns and blockades. When I give a chocolate, her eyes light up and provide me with a sense of satisfaction for having made her happier. I do not believe any moment is lost in her, though she needs to be fed, bathed and taken care of in all aspects of her physical needs. But for her, her own N (need) is limited because she knows her R has a limitation. She stretches her hands, holds on to a long brush at her brush-works and others follow her instincts. I follow her pattern of driving her dreams that she believe are His dreams as well.
On the VISHU day, we see KANI, meaning everything that brings in prosperity for the whole year. There is a symbolic representation in the KANI – with a mirror. As the sparklers cracked around, and lit the sky with colors bring in happiness to those who celebrated the festivities. I looked at the mirror and saw my image. I did a self analysis and found the real meaning of BALANCE, the balance between the day and night. The balance between sorrow and joy, LIFE and DEATH, ups and downs, pains and pleasures. It’s the way we think and respond, getting signals from nature around us as we move ahead on the freeways. The real you need to be identified.
I thought 50:50 is a concept to be in balance – 51 being excitement and 49 being depression - a mathematical expression of being aware to let go and witness LIFE and to enjoy His blessings that are much above the three stories that un-folded above for most of us.

Sitting sweet on the banks of the river . .

River flows calm at times and ruthless some other times,
Right - an Aries nature of not wanting to be in control.

Human nature prompts us to set new challenging goals for ourselves
Hey, you know, at times it is the thrill of pursuit and conquest

Turbulence is not a measure of the depth of the river, like
Truth at times is disguised and masked

Understanding the depth and width is an art
Un-known to many an individual, who does not care, and empathize

When I was finding ways to spark a connection and
When I am crazy about you

It came from the banks of the river, sitting pretty around there
It still is an interest in mystery that have over flown boundaries

As the anticipation built the chemistry that glued with mutual interest
Alas, the one sitting pretty on the banks of river motivated & attracted

I know, a little flirtatious chase is fairly harmless, when
It comes to people whom you care and both do not loose

As what happens with love and tender care from those river banks
Add beauty and charm in the simple relationships that mature

Time will tell - high and low tides will disappear
That the river will flow for ever

In order to give support to the banks that guided the flow and
In a way to lend the little finger that promise ways to come out of turmoil

Life is like a river, dry and full at times - sad and rejoicing
Like one sees while rowing life’s boat on the river, watching across the banks

These are times, when the banks of the river pacify, regulate and support,
Tempt, tease, teach and act tough, so that the river still flows in calm

Indebted for life, indebted for ever, indebted to be between the banks
I, stay around, to receive rich nourishments, that flows from you, from the banks.

Work ethics – have we lost?

Work ethics – have we lost?
This year I watched KONNA flowers that blooms around 14th of April just in time for the festival in Kerala called VISHU, early this year from end February. And by mid March Konna flowers bloomed all over the place. I wondered then why? Why early enough and felt – may be this year’s summer arrived early. The Konna trees are not aware of “April 14th “, but the hot climate probably made the flowers to blossom. Things change!
Amidst this summer, we decided to carry on with left over repair work at home and bought a few items for bath-room walls, expensive though. We waited for more than three days for a plumber to turn up so that the items can be fixed on the walls. He came with a helper and tools with brands like Bosch and Mikita to drill up the walls. I watched his actions and the work that prolonged for the day.
It was exactly on the next day that the carpenter came in with his tool bag that comprised of a few old carpentry items and fixtures of a variety that was needed to fulfill his anticipated work for the day. This carpenter, in comparison to the plumber, who was just about 30 years of age was crossing 78 years. He knew APPU carpenter who used to work at my home when I was a school going child.
On the third day, fortunately late in the evening when temperatures were down with the sea breeze, I met one of the stalwarts from Calicut who built an empire of his own, another rag to riches story. He was telling his story of how he saw a future for him with a hope and a dream from the narrow lanes that still wind up the city; we call as Mavoor Road in Calicut.
I love passing through such lanes we call as “IDA VAZHI”, because one can still see some of those old Basel Mission made CTL tiles on the roofs of the old houses. That kind of a walk helps me reach destinations with the shade from coconut trees.
After such a walk on the fourth day, I sat relaxed to re-collect the experiences that I shared on the previous three days, including seeing konna flowers blossomed, indicating change in nature.
The guy with the Bosch drill and with an assistant did not take care with the new items I bought at a price and damaged the glass as the tray was fixed. He ignored and lost the tiny soft plastic granules as he un-packed. These had to sink in to the counter sunk screws that tightened up the sheet of glass in between. I had to insert thermocol- pieces so that glass will not crack as it gets tightened. He had the best of tools, but broke the brass screw as he hit it as it was inclined as he fixed. His assistant was a meager on-looker around his work place. He had to be paid for as well. While leaving he and his assistant left their hand marks and machine marks on the painted wall. The dust on the floor was not swept and cleaned as he accepted his wages. Both had their cell phones in use as they worked thus taking paid work time. He was in a hurry to move to another place to work, on his motor bike. In the process he fixed new expensive things in a bad taste.
The 78 year old carpenter without an assistant desisted me helping him to take out the 65 year old teak wooden box down 7 storey’s and managed it all alone. He sat on the small piece of wood he cut while he worked. The heat did not bother with his work. No complaints. As he worked he appreciated the carpenter who made that box. He observed that it was cut and made from a trunk of wood that was nearly 30” wide. The work was such; he said that today not many can make such a piece. The old man always measured, checked again, counter-checked a third time before he used his axe to cut the wood from which he made a nice looking book shelf, without loosing a single wood piece. I watched him sharpen his tools to ensure the edges dove-tailed wonderfully to form the new shape being made out of the 65 year old box to make a book shelf. He walked to buy a few nails of a smaller size and returned fast. No assistance called for. The beauty was re-carved in shaping the new thing out of the old. When done with the assigned job, I requested him to do a minor repair on the clothes shelf that he voluntarily completed with élan and a smile. He was happy to do his job, a kind of passion!
I loved the third evening spent with the legend who made history, all during a life span that I saw – here in Calicut, India - No, not the story of BIG BAZAR. Commencing from a KOOLIE job he built up an empire called “Soodersh” (name changed for obvious reasons). His empire included Hotels, Shipping, Funds, Real estates, Films and Factories that produced valuable goods. Looking humble, contented, not embarking upon the history of growth he sat, smiled and replicated some of the difficult times and the satisfaction of making things happen in those times. He was proud to say that from no where to beyond boundaries, he steered through by following dreams and imaginations. His gratitude for those who managed his business empire is tremendous. He thanked the astrologer who predicted growth at his tender age of 15 when he could not even pay Rs. 5 for his predictions. The astrologer advised him to meet him when his predictions came true to accept the payment. This legend did so on a fine day at the pinnacle of his glory and height and travelled to meet him – alas, he says the astrologer was not there to accept his small gift worth more than Rs.5/-. This legend continues to inspire people like me who could have the management training and education but cannot perceive a dream like him and chase it hard. Hard work, following hopes and dreams, says he – is the mantra of life.
As I sat, relaxed while the sun was setting I felt as the sun rise the next day, we need to have people like the 78 year old carpenter who can turn a magic to bring something new from an old artifact with precision work. Remembering the legend, I pray that aspirations and willingness in some minds of the youth of today can out-perform to make Indians proud.
Then the dark shadows on the bye-lanes of our villages will brighten up. Yellow Konna flowers will bring in hopes of realization on 14th April that days ahead are better than what we see around us at times.

The bloom ………

One fine morning, hot and humid
On my way to work,
One flower attracted me
Only one, the yellow one.

It was bright but small
It was fresh and glowing
I wonder why I looked at it,
Intended to be ignored by many.

Un-known to many
Un-wanted by all
Unable to attract
Uninvited by the whole world.

Desert sands are dry,
Desperate to bloom
Denied by the nature where even mirages
Disappear from sight.

“Will there be a bee?
Will the honey from the petals be sucked?
Will someone pick me to the flower vase?
Will I ever become a decorative piece?”

The yellow desert flower asked
“Thou shall die?”
The echo returned to the yellow petals
“Then why am I born?”

God has been kind
Good I noticed that yellow flower
Goodness being spread in the desert lands
Great vibrant yellow flower, for me to enjoy that moment.

Lone, all alone
Lovely flower that you are
Lonely you stand, just for that bee to arrive
Love you so much, as you stand, for me to watch.

Creation is a stone thrown uphill against the downward rush of habit
Creatures are trying to accomplish big; not realizing life is made up of small things
Contentment is not the fulfillment of what you want,
’Cause, it’s the realization of how much you already have …. That little yellow desert flower.

"imag-e-in" - defined

IMAGIN-ation propels beyond boundaries; both time and space.

IMAGE - is a mental perception limited to boundaries.

Challenges fuel IMAG-Es beyond boundaries . . by IMAGIN-ing.

Surrender ...

When I see that my sight stops at the end of the wall in front,
When I see my words cannot go beyond the depth of the space around,
When I see that what I write cannot be understood by all,
When I see that I am misunderstood at times, I surrender.

When I see that my age does prevent me from walking fast,
When I see that I see things not so clear,
When I see that my old friends do not want me,
When I see that I cannot enjoy food, at times; I surrender.

When I see people suffering and pain,
When I see violence and suppression,
When I see hunger and anger,
When I see wildfire and volcanoes, I surrender.

When I see failure and inaction,
When I see politics and news headlines,
When I see fashion and emotions,
When I see passion and no motion, I surrender.

When I see darkness and untruth,
When I see silence and people in masks,
When I see destiny and the end of the road,
When I see death and nothing beyond, I surrender.

When I look at nature and God,
When I look at someone poorer than me,
When I go through the pages of history,
I wonder why I ever surrender.