26th February 2013, reflected in me as a close friend and a companion in deserts where we worked later. Mohan Mathew whom any one will like was at the terminal of his moment with destiny. A friend called to say this condition and one from Saudi sent a mail. As I traveled to meet him, memoirs continuously attacked me with the times we shared as college mates. Memories never fade - good ones for sure.
His wife Santha had her smile slightly distorted, but brave when we witnessed his breath took longer with struggle. His eyes, closed, without food and water for a few days we are waiting in prayers for a miracle. Our breath also had silence in between. His children had come from US and from nearby. Pausing and engaged with thoughts in prayers we returned and on the way back, I thought of the limits and boundaries we have with destiny.
There exists a “Lakshman Rekha” a very thin line between the limit and the boundary. This idea evolved from my past experiences and encounters and is food for thought set on your table - provoking and at the same time tempting.
There are few things hemmed by boundaries. Boundaries do not bind rather they set limits. We imprison our minds and create a YOU that you are not. Thoughts have hardly any boundaries – they move around in the neighborhood as well beyond. Space and the outer-space have no set boundaries and are in balance. Cosmos is in existence is with attraction and repulsion forces but co-exist and move on. Friendships are love affairs to some extent.
Limits are set by mind and not anything else. Between birth and death there exists a thin boundary called breath and between thought and speech there exists a thin line of silence?
Our minds construct the world we live in. The perception and concepts we hold determine and create the way we see. Patterns of thought, limitations and boundaries in understanding influence how we interact with and shape reality. Such limits and boundaries define the parameters of friendships and existence. As a child we are dependent, we grow and become independent and in a social and professional concept become interdependent. Friendships are everlasting especially that incarnate during school and college times that makes us interdependent.
As I traveled back, I went past my own history of an encounter with death with a disease named Transverse Myelitis about 12 years ago. I was invited to depart and pack my baggage to enter the world unknown. Transverse myelitis is a neurological disorder caused by inflammation of the spinal cord. The term myelitis refers to inflammation of the spinal cord; transverse simply describes the position of the inflammation that interrupts communications between the nerves in the spinal cord and the rest of the body. What began as a sudden lower back pain, rapidly progressed to more severe symptoms and I was paralyzed from below naval, urine retention, and loss of bowel control. The attack was on a fine Saturday afternoon with a heavy back pain and the resident doctor advised me to take pain killer for the night. My breath with death was that night. It was at Hinduja where I was diagnosed and I was in the MRI scanning machine for more than an hour and a half. Lucky I am to have come and tell this story, and live to see my friend Mohan Mathew. What I missed was my breath when the consulting mentioned that I may have a few days ahead to have continued breaths and as per statistics the case is so.
When an alumni friend requested to know Mohan’s status with a sob in his heart, I felt the breath in him holding for a moment and I spoke on his terrible condition and his encounter with the “Lakshman Rekha”. Pain has limitations and his son told us he does not experience pain in his condition. But pain inflict in those in love with him.
This afternoon I was with a doctor who explained a condition like that of mine that caused tragedy to his father in law recently. This is termed - Guillain-Barre (say "ghee-YAN bah-RAY") syndrome. This is a serious disorder that occurs when the body's defense (immune) system mistakenly attacks part of the nervous system. This leads to nerve inflammation that causes muscle weakness and other symptoms. This is an autoimmune disorder (the body's immune system attacks itself) and damages parts of nerves. This nerve damage causes tingling, muscle weakness, and paralysis. This can cause paralysis and lead to death. The doctor informed me that his father in law whom I met a few months back came back to life after stretched limits of encounters with destiny.
We have beliefs and the times I had are experiences to seek from the ultimate to give chances. Those whom I informed about Mohan were in a spontaneous feeling for one another. We reached the zenith of our friendships in conversation – beyond the limits and boundaries that set apart positions, ideologies and beliefs. Love dominates at such instances.
Lao Tzu make us think with his words – “Be content with what you have, rejoice in the way things are and when you realize nothing lacking, world belongs to you. When you are content, with what you have and become simply yourself - respect comes”.
We then think differently about life and its manifestations, sufferings, pain and joy. The breath I lost in witnessing Mohan’s breath made me understand that death is a necessary phase that transgresses from one to the other. I learnt more within the thin limits of time existed on the 13th floor at Hinduja hospital twelve years ago and as my colleague Ravinder Singh said sitting close to me – ‘Amar, I am reminded of a joke and that will make you laugh and feel good’ – really so, I enjoyed his wits and fun more than the sympathetic looks I used to receive in the visiting hours those days.
“Life is not about how many breaths you take but about how many moments in life that take your breath away”.
His wife Santha had her smile slightly distorted, but brave when we witnessed his breath took longer with struggle. His eyes, closed, without food and water for a few days we are waiting in prayers for a miracle. Our breath also had silence in between. His children had come from US and from nearby. Pausing and engaged with thoughts in prayers we returned and on the way back, I thought of the limits and boundaries we have with destiny.
There exists a “Lakshman Rekha” a very thin line between the limit and the boundary. This idea evolved from my past experiences and encounters and is food for thought set on your table - provoking and at the same time tempting.
There are few things hemmed by boundaries. Boundaries do not bind rather they set limits. We imprison our minds and create a YOU that you are not. Thoughts have hardly any boundaries – they move around in the neighborhood as well beyond. Space and the outer-space have no set boundaries and are in balance. Cosmos is in existence is with attraction and repulsion forces but co-exist and move on. Friendships are love affairs to some extent.
Limits are set by mind and not anything else. Between birth and death there exists a thin boundary called breath and between thought and speech there exists a thin line of silence?
Our minds construct the world we live in. The perception and concepts we hold determine and create the way we see. Patterns of thought, limitations and boundaries in understanding influence how we interact with and shape reality. Such limits and boundaries define the parameters of friendships and existence. As a child we are dependent, we grow and become independent and in a social and professional concept become interdependent. Friendships are everlasting especially that incarnate during school and college times that makes us interdependent.
As I traveled back, I went past my own history of an encounter with death with a disease named Transverse Myelitis about 12 years ago. I was invited to depart and pack my baggage to enter the world unknown. Transverse myelitis is a neurological disorder caused by inflammation of the spinal cord. The term myelitis refers to inflammation of the spinal cord; transverse simply describes the position of the inflammation that interrupts communications between the nerves in the spinal cord and the rest of the body. What began as a sudden lower back pain, rapidly progressed to more severe symptoms and I was paralyzed from below naval, urine retention, and loss of bowel control. The attack was on a fine Saturday afternoon with a heavy back pain and the resident doctor advised me to take pain killer for the night. My breath with death was that night. It was at Hinduja where I was diagnosed and I was in the MRI scanning machine for more than an hour and a half. Lucky I am to have come and tell this story, and live to see my friend Mohan Mathew. What I missed was my breath when the consulting mentioned that I may have a few days ahead to have continued breaths and as per statistics the case is so.
When an alumni friend requested to know Mohan’s status with a sob in his heart, I felt the breath in him holding for a moment and I spoke on his terrible condition and his encounter with the “Lakshman Rekha”. Pain has limitations and his son told us he does not experience pain in his condition. But pain inflict in those in love with him.
This afternoon I was with a doctor who explained a condition like that of mine that caused tragedy to his father in law recently. This is termed - Guillain-Barre (say "ghee-YAN bah-RAY") syndrome. This is a serious disorder that occurs when the body's defense (immune) system mistakenly attacks part of the nervous system. This leads to nerve inflammation that causes muscle weakness and other symptoms. This is an autoimmune disorder (the body's immune system attacks itself) and damages parts of nerves. This nerve damage causes tingling, muscle weakness, and paralysis. This can cause paralysis and lead to death. The doctor informed me that his father in law whom I met a few months back came back to life after stretched limits of encounters with destiny.
We have beliefs and the times I had are experiences to seek from the ultimate to give chances. Those whom I informed about Mohan were in a spontaneous feeling for one another. We reached the zenith of our friendships in conversation – beyond the limits and boundaries that set apart positions, ideologies and beliefs. Love dominates at such instances.
Lao Tzu make us think with his words – “Be content with what you have, rejoice in the way things are and when you realize nothing lacking, world belongs to you. When you are content, with what you have and become simply yourself - respect comes”.
We then think differently about life and its manifestations, sufferings, pain and joy. The breath I lost in witnessing Mohan’s breath made me understand that death is a necessary phase that transgresses from one to the other. I learnt more within the thin limits of time existed on the 13th floor at Hinduja hospital twelve years ago and as my colleague Ravinder Singh said sitting close to me – ‘Amar, I am reminded of a joke and that will make you laugh and feel good’ – really so, I enjoyed his wits and fun more than the sympathetic looks I used to receive in the visiting hours those days.
“Life is not about how many breaths you take but about how many moments in life that take your breath away”.
Our feelings are emotional and create ripples in our hearts
ReplyDeleteHaridas Pannikote - "Dear Sri. Amarnath, I know you from NSS and from chennai way back in 72 when you were working for INDIAN OXYGEN . i was with SIEMENS then.Nice seeing yOu again and i am touched reading the article.All i can comment on about the whole thing is take things positively counting the blessings given"
ReplyDeleteRavinder Singh "dear Amarnath,Great feeling to have a friend like you. Yes I do remember to have spent some good time in Worli. What mesmerizes me is your literary skills.Kind regards"
ReplyDeleteDear Mama,
ReplyDeleteI have read a lot of your blogs,but must say this is the most thought provoking & the best one upto date,
Regards
And Thanks
Monish