At cross roads - Life goes on the same!

That was some time back when our friend Salma’s daughter Sharon asked me “Why you, ‘expiry dated’ speak about her?” The question had a meaning. I and Sharon’s father Suresh were talking about Aliath who is a colleague of my wife at the school. Aliath is much younger compared to Suresh and me. At cross roads in life we hear questions like this. Expiry is a milestone on time. Abraham Lincoln said – “In the end, it’s not the years in your LIFE that count. It’s the LIFE in your years”. Today 11th June Usha, my wife celebrates her birthday and I wrote a poem that mentioned “Ageless, Usha”. Age is a matter of time. Happiness is important for us, mortal beings. It’s all about harmony with creation. Harmony is all about accepting life as it unfolds and play with the orchestra. We need to change and Bernard Shaw said – “Those who cannot change their minds, cannot change anything “that includes being happy. Most of us seek happiness for ourselves and probably that’s the problem. It isn’t easy to find then. When we share happiness with others, happiness finds it ways back to us. Keshav, Attitudinal Consultant, told me once “When life changes to become harder, change your-self to become stronger”. Emotions are at play in our lives. We are, to a large extent, involved with emotions and those influence us both ways. Regret is one emotion that kills us more at times. Some of us may feel that we had the courage to live life on our own terms and not what others want us to be. Professionals may feel why they worked so hard so far? A few at least can think that they had the courage to express their feelings. About relationships some think that they should have kept those valuable ones alive as they moved on their path. A large number may feel that they should have let themselves happier. Happiness is making a choice by you, to be happy or not to be! “Contentment consists not in adding more fuel, but in taking away some fire.” - Thomas Fuller. When I see people with an urge to acquire I remember the words of Frances Burney – “A youthful mind is seldom totally free from ambition; to curb that, is the first step to contentment, since to diminish expectation is to increase enjoyment.” Isn’t it true that the gap between expectations and reality is the culprit for most of our sorrows? It was not so long that I attended a ceremony where bones of the deceased were collected after cremation. As many of the close relatives shed a tear from their eyes, I thought –“isn’t those bones like that of mine?” In fact we are that – part of earth panjaboothas. Arunima Sinha's journey from railway tracks to Mount Everest is a story that unfolded on May 21st 2013. After climbing Mount Everest she said – “There was a time when the gel in my leg had slipped out and there was blood but I could not dare to either remove my gloves or bare my leg as it could have led to severe frost bites. I took my time and fixed it up before starting to climb back again.” She achieved the world record feat of becoming the first woman amputee to conquer Mt. Everest. She was inspired also by Yuvraj Singh who fought with cancer some time ago. Adversity can, at times make changes in our lives … Julio a little Spanish boy had a dream. He wanted to play football for Real Madrid! He practiced hard and became a good goalkeeper but met with a terrible accident was paralyzed from the waist downwards. Doctors were sure he would never play football again! To lessen the pain, Julio took to writing poems at night, with a tear in his eye. A nurse gifted him a guitar. Soon Julio began strumming the guitar and also singing the songs that he wrote. He never played football again. But with a guitar in hand and a song on his lips, Julio Iglesias went on to become one of the top ten singers in the history of music, selling over 300 million albums. “imag-e-in” - if not for that accident, Julio Iglesias would have been a goalkeeper. What happened to Julio that evening in 1963 could happen to any of us. A setback or an accident or failure can often appear to be the end of the road. But if we really look at it we may be at cross roads. Learning to cope with failure is a critical step not regret – the way to happiness. Today as I pass through a cross road in our lives, I feel that we should focus on our own lives and enjoy the gifts of God and try less to satisfy others. We have only one life to live truly we should make the best of it, by living the way one feel. We can’t compare ourselves with others and if we do that we miss our train. Being ageless on time happens when we understand current – this moment that is precious and not regret on past or worry on what cannot be done tomorrow. “Many people lose the small joys in the hope for the big happiness.” - Pearl S. Buck. Swami Chinmayananda said “Don't put the key to your happiness in someone else's pocket” – Both these are words of wisdom. I wish Usha, my wife as she passes this step on her milestone, best wishes. She has always been simple, content and happy with what she has and moved on … including the testing times when she had a tubular pregnancy and I was in the hospital with transverse myelitis, cases that could have lost our lives. Her calm and composure illustrate at times, the way to look at life, patiently and move on, as life goes on the same, irrespective of the window through which you view it!