IMAGINARY Boundaries

A wanderer was jumping out on the leaves of a coconut tree to the other and was nearly one month old. The mother squirrel was only watching the sibling perform that jump. From the terrace of my flat the coconut tree that had flowered a thousand odd bunches of flowers was being watched by me all the mornings that I went out and stretched out before we embarked on a walk on the streets on the Balaji hills at Seethammadhara, a foothill in Vizag. I had always a liking to these wonderful and picturesque surroundings that lay stretched just close to the Bay of Bengal on the East and mountainous terrains on the other side. Vizag was a fishing village now embracing high tech and priceless possession of agri-lands giving way to multiplexes and prestigious corporate. This land that I came across to be with, after initial encounters of a stay during early seventy’s provides me with a load of nostalgia and memoirs.

Sooner or later, the little squirrel will jump more obstacles and the mother squirrel will forget the first few strides of the child. The flowers of coconuts will fade away and fall leaving a few to become tender coconuts and become seeds for yet another coconut tree to grow up to repeat natural habitats function on a time scale.

I looked around and probed what to write? Instantaneously an idea was generated and here I go.

The thoughts went through transformative years that passed by, and memoirs flooded in the process and my mood froze to pen down the thoughts.

I was not destined and born with a mission, neither I was a “No body’s Child” as the good old song that Usha, used to sing in solitude. I discovered a mission on the way, early in life. I still find time to look back and enjoy the tracks that were probably littered with thorns and flowers and recollect with gratitude the heavens showered upon me as on today. Some one put it well, when he said –“Dreams are not that you see when you are asleep, but they are what makes you not to sleep”. For, those born before the Independence, and those who still are able to recollect the rationing times, can well afford to visualize limitations of even imagining and dreaming. For me, the inner self compensated for the lack of everything else including the financial needs. I dared to look at a future not with the glare and glitterati but a quiet search to find “happiness”, a mission that I am still holding.

Distance wise, the barrier for me at those times was the 5th railway gate close to my house, but many times I used to walk or cycle across the imaginary boundary that lay in front the 5th railway gate and went about to see the limitless frontiers as I visualized beyond the Arabian Seas. I vividly remember narrating a short story in Malayalam that I had written for the school magazine, attempting to count the number of stars commencing with the first one that rose up high on the sky on the sea shore. It was magical to visualize and look beyond and enjoy without a “paisa” in the pocket.

The wealth within reach was limited to thoughts that catapulted me to horizons to reach above. Unknown were the issues and problems as these are two sides of the same coin. Winning was a need and loosing was not a problem, as there were hardly anything to loose. As the Malayalam proverbial statement –“Poyal poyi, kittiyal Ana” – meaning – If you loose you loose, but if you win, you win and elephant” was the drive behind all action. The wisdom within the shadows catapulted the thoughts to reach destinations crossing the imaginary 5th Gate.

First it was to get admission to the professional college, then to find a job and at those times it was a Herculean task for me. And when I got a job, I had to work for sixteen hours a day where the Western Ghats ends at a place called Mavoor. River “Chaliar” was around with contaminants from the industry I worked. The river still flows . . . . still and I take stock of my roots back to that river from where I started looking beyond about life, in late sixties.

Those were the days when we just had five engineering colleges in Kerala and only about a two hundreds became engineers to the nation. There were no jobs for those who passed out, and India was well within the number of 50 crores of people. Pizza and Chinese noodles were unheard of and forget -“sari” and “mundu” were the basic dress for people. I used to buy one dozen of Mysore Bananas for less than 50 paisa, in school days. The radio transmitted news from AIR. Some of us went about thinking, sereing the exhibition of photos displayed at the Christian College where Yuri Gagarin was shown on the Moon. We felt – it was possible, if our minds lead us to for-see and the body accompanied.

“Nadakkav”- where we congregated in the evenings with friends bear the brunt of the history that passed by. Though new mindscapes and ideologies have emerged, the term “I” can be seen as finding links with the past and look around to future for progress. On the side lines and margins one can find “scripts” that may develop into actions as one goes through the pages of past times. The river, “Chaliar” still flows……

As on date, with the technology that is leading most of us to live the way we live, we still need to buy candles from the shopping malls to light when the power cut is imposed. We look for the matches that I once used to light the lamps at the “SANDHYA” time in prayer. Technology alone cannot lead us; they may provide some solutions to some issues and problems that we encounter every day. But most of the solutions have to come about from the human spirit. We need to open up the “BLACK BOX” of our mind and use the left brain that stimulates feelings. We need to sympathize with the not-so-wealthy and interpret the speed at which we want to progress. We need to STOP, divert thoughts and take a diversion from the cultural high way that is impeding the righteousness of the purpose of our very lives. We need to probe when the candle burns on our table tops. We need to reach out, we need to think beyond, need to plan and see what makes us “happy” and what “not” and generate action that will please us, so that we please many more like us. Inspection may throw light on what happened, but introspection may give insight to what should happen.

We need to introspect and find answers like some of those, quoted as below and locate our position as of now so that we traverse and set our course and chart our own destinies. See some of the points as expressed below:

In a comparative note I quote the interviews with three eminent personalities. Vijay Mallaya was asked “what will be your rating on a scale of 1-10 on your evaluation of your persona?” and he said – “I do not rate me; I leave it to people.” A similar question posed to Simi Grewal and she replied “10, because I am doing what I do to the best I can do”. Nandita Bose replied – “I do not follow any image, image follows me.”

It is time that we pay attention to the things that are critical to our happiness. Spend time with children and with parents. Visit with grandparents. Take your spouse out to enjoy an evening. Play another game of cards. There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal. Take care of the golf balls first --- the things that really matter. The rest is just sand.

Some one in a Call Center asked – “Can I have a few minutes with you, please? We are glad this happened. It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of minutes to be with a friend." Do look up your old friends, associates and family members.

It’s just because, the river “Chaliar” still flows….. and it will …

Floating on the flow needs hardly any effort, but swimming across need talents. So let us not take the easy route the way life takes us, but pave the way you like to live.

It was on 10th of August, 1945, when an atom bomb exploded in Japan, killing thousands of innocent people. The cycle of violence repeat itself even today. The cycles of revenge destroy the fabric of the society where we are part of. The mechanism of revenge works on the principle of treating a wrong with a bigger wrong. We need to look at what is meant by forgiving. We have to identify the trauma that inflicts the children who undergo the vagaries of revenge. It is better to prepare than to repair. River “Chaliar” still flows ….

Heraclites, the Greek philosopher said – “Everything flows”. He stated that “you cannot step into the same river twice” as it keeps flowing, changing the courses and contents. With the constant changes, continuous shift of qualities also takes place. In everything there is a play of opposites, he says, “without which the world will collapse”. Sea water is a must for fish and for us fresh water. It’s like the beginning and end of a circle - can be, at any point of the circle.

“Naranathu Brandhan” took up huge stones up-hill on a mountain and left it free to fall off – just to show that “the road uphill and down is one and the same”. It’s about accepting the midway path that is gray and not pure white or pure black. That’s the way many have traveled. The invisible harmony that exists between relationships is better than the visible”. We should dismiss using masks to feel good to ourselves.

In his book “The last lecture” Randy Pausch gives some inner meanings of desire. We need to have the desire to live the full life and at the same time loving each other. This is the recipe for making our dreams come true. As we embark upon our tasks we come across brick walls some times. Brick walls are not there to keep us out. They are there to provide us a chance to show how badly we want something. Destiny cannot be changed, it is our choice either to moan or accept things with an attitude that will scale us further. As we pray and move ahead let us understand that prayers are not for God to change His mind but is to let God change ours. Every day we look at things with a new look, lest past be there to teach us not to deter.

As we pass through the nodes in our lives, let us thank God for His blessings and thank Him for the mercies He has given us.

As the river “Chaliar” moves ahead with time, let us look at the Borrah Caves that was developed by the Gosthani River by testing the slow path of the more simple watery form that penetrated and created caves of such a large dimension over a million years. Patience and focus makes things happen and we remember these as we encounter smaller block walls as we move ahead in the path of time. It is the belief that we can do that primarily makes things happen.

Incidentally the 5th railway gate does not exist these days and as the road over-bridge has substituted the small imaginary block wall.

The 5th Gate like that of the PANCHBOOTHAS is a reminder to us that the ATMAN will provide us with energy and stamina that will help soothe the strains and stresses that we may come across. Things change, the river “Chaliar” will continue to flow….. watch out and be a witness to events.